Some of the Best Jokes on Earth

Here are some of the best jokes on earth that tickle people’s funny bones and even change lives.

Brain Damage

Among best jokes on earth on brain damage circulating on the planet is this: Choy’s uncle, Tony, was diagnosed with internal bleeding in the head. He was scheduled for operation and his brother, Choy’s Uncle Frank, called long distance to express worry. “I just hope he pulls through and does not have any brain damage after,” says Uncle Frank.

“Well, I don’t see any cause for worry,” says Choy somewhat surprised. “It might even launch him on a career!”

“A career?” Uncle Frank asks in wonder.

“Lots of people in our country walk the streets with brain damage without encountering any problem. Some of them even run for congress and are elected to office. Some even for the presidency!”

No Peanuts for Grandma

This used to be a story warning bus drivers who daily encounter kind and sweet grandma passengers offering them peanuts but is now among the best jokes on earth. A certain bus driver daily takes into his bus a nice and sweet grandma who daily offers him moist peanuts. The driver finds the peanuts kind of sour but eats them anyway to please the old lady. One day, he finally asks the elderly passenger why she keeps giving him the peanuts. “Oh,” says the old lady, “I only eat the chocolate covering.”

Old Human Bones

Here’s one of the best jokes on earth about museums. A man visited a town museum and viewed a human skeleton on display. He asked the security guard how old the skeleton was. The guard said confidently, “Seventy million years and four months, to be precise!” The man was astonished about the accuracy. “How come you know it that accurate?” he asked the guard. The guard said, “I started here four months ago and back then it was already 70 million years old.”

On a Strict Diet

Ever been on a strict diet? Here’s one of the best jokes on earth on observing strict diets. Molly complained on gaining more weight despite her religious observance of a strict diet. “I feed on spinach daily each meal, because that’s what the dieting manual says! And yet I grow bigger and heavier!” she told Lyra.

“Really?” said Lyra with obvious concern. “How do you cook spinach?” she asked.

Molly, looking somewhat shy, said, “I boil two bundles of it with some ingredients for flavoring. “

“Ingredients?” asked Lyra. “What ingredients?”

“Three pounds of pork chops,” answered Molly, grinning.

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